Two Step

6/30/2003:

One More Time

Well, I finally got tired of blogger and its coment system, so I have moved to my new blogspot, and hopefully this is the last time!!! My new site is: http://unclejosh.chattablogs.com Come check it out!

Josh // 6/30/2003 11:29:00 AM
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Recent Viewings

Well, I saw two new movies over the weekend (new to me, at least). One I thought I would hate, and one I thought I might like. Ok, so it happened to turn out the opposite of what I expected. Friday night at Bransons, we watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and I thought I would detest it. The reviews were awful. But actually, it was rather funny. There were some hilarious scenes, and it was a *fairly* clean movie. Of course it was cheesy and predictable, and the ending was bad, but hey, what do you expect from the "typical hollywood romantic comedy". Then on Saturday night, I took Lacey to see Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. I liked the first one and expected more of the same. But what I got was quite different. It was awful. The entire movie consisted of absolutely pointless scenes, strung together with no transition, just an excuse to dress up the three women in skimpy outfits and blow stuff up. There was no plot, very little dialogue...yuck. Sure, some of the stunts were cool, and I LOVE action movies, but this was too much for even me. I would not recommend this movie to ANYONE.

Josh // 6/30/2003 10:10:00 AM
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Brilliant Wit

The final category of comedies is what I am going to call the "smart" comedy. These are movies (as Booth so aptly described them) that go for funny ideas and things, and not necessarily punchlines and easy laughs. Really, the best way I can describe these movies, is to give examples. So here goes...just remember that this is by no means a comprehensive list, so please critique, add or subtract. Swingers, The Big Lebowski, Office Space, and O Brother Where Art Thou.

Josh // 6/30/2003 10:04:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.

Josh // 6/30/2003 10:01:00 AM
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6/25/2003:

Dark/Black Comedy

My next to last category of comedy is the dark or black comedy. These would be movies that are termed comedies by most, but with humor that is mostly dark, or edgy. This is not the light fluff of romantic comedies, or the silliness of slapstick and spoof. As Christin put it, this is "life is so pathetic it's funny" humor or simply comedy centering around dark subjects, such as murder, etc. The best movies in this category include: Fargo, Gross Point Blank, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums. There are many more, so please feel free to add to my list. A question for debate: could even a movie like Pulp Fiction be put in this category...

Josh // 6/25/2003 09:22:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

Josh // 6/25/2003 09:17:00 AM
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6/24/2003:

Listening Post

What I've been listening to lately: Boyd Tinsley (violinist for DMB) --- True Reflections (A pretty good album, but stick to the DMB please) Radiohead --- Hail to the Thief (see my review...I like it better every time I listen to it) Elton John --- Greatest Hits Pearl Jam --- Vitalogy Mozart --- Requiem; The Magic Flute (highlights)

Josh // 6/24/2003 08:30:00 AM
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Action/Adventure Comedy

My next category of comedy is a pretty broad one. It is the action or adventure comedy. This is a movie that is neither an action movie (like Arnold would do), nor an adventure movie (like Indiana Jones or something) but would be defined as a comedy...but includes a good deal of action or adventure. My prime examples of these movies are: Princess Bride, Beverly Hills Cop, Maverick, Shanghai Noon, and Rush Hour. All very good movies, just difficult to categorize. Some of my comedy categories may be catch-all, but I think they fit pretty well, just not perfectly. Anyways, maybe I'm missing some, so please, fill in the cracks.

Josh // 6/24/2003 08:26:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary.

Josh // 6/24/2003 08:21:00 AM
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6/23/2003:

Slapstick

Closely related to the spoof is my next category of comedy: the slapstick or silly comedy. This constitutes by far the largest category of comedies, and some of the most beloved. Favorites of mine in this category include: Tommy Boy, Billy Madison, Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura (the first one), National Lampoon's Vacation, Zoolander, and Wayne's World. There are, of course, tons more, and you can feel free to discuss, add or subtract from my list. Only three more categories to go!

Josh // 6/23/2003 08:54:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

Josh // 6/23/2003 08:50:00 AM
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6/20/2003:

The Spoof

This will be my second category of comedies: SPOOFS. They are mostly silly "guy-movies" but every once in a while one will come along that appeals to everyone. My favorites in this category include Hot Shots, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, the Naked Gun, and the all time classic, Airplane.

Josh // 6/20/2003 07:04:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

Josh // 6/20/2003 06:55:00 AM
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6/19/2003:

More Comedy

Ok, I've thought more about this comedy issue, and I had a good conversation with the Booth last night, so let me go more in depth, and explain myself. My list was for the "funniest movies of all time". This was different than "best comedies of all time" for several reasons. The main one is that there are several different categories of comedies, so that a few cannot stand out as the "best" among so many worthy contenders, which might be in slightly different genres. So with that said, I stand by my original list. Now, over the next few days, I will be revealing the categories that Booth (thanks man) and I discussed briefly, refined a bit to my own tastes, and including a couple of the best examples from each "genre". The first will be: ROMANTIC COMEDY. When Harry Met Sally is the best example, the funniest, and the worthiest in this category, hands down. There are others that are ok, but beyond that, not a lot, making this the weakest category. Please feel free to add your own.

Josh // 6/19/2003 07:23:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

Josh // 6/19/2003 07:16:00 AM
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6/18/2003:

Breaking Music News

Preliminary plans are underway for a Simon and Garfunkel reunion tour for the fall, sources tell Billboard.com. I know I'll be there if it comes anywhere close...

Josh // 6/18/2003 09:55:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

Josh // 6/18/2003 07:12:00 AM
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6/17/2003:

Movie News

The other night at the Wilkins', we were sitting around talking about funny movies, and the topic of "what your favorite comedy of all time is/what are the funniest movies of all time" came up. I liked a lot of the choices I heard, but here is my own personal list, in no particular order: National Lampoon's Vacation (the first one), Tommy Boy, When Harry Met Sally, Office Space, Billy Madison, Dumb and Dumber, Groundhog Day, Caddyshack, Swingers, and a new fave: Zoolander. There are many more I could have mentioned, but that is the cream of the crop. Feel free to discuss.

Josh // 6/17/2003 11:51:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

If you're eating a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!"

Josh // 6/17/2003 09:17:00 AM
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6/16/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.

Josh // 6/16/2003 12:39:00 PM
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6/14/2003:

I am a dance dance dance dance dance machine

Well, a bunch of us went dancing last night at the Deja Vu. I had a really good time, and so did all of my cohorts, but I have to say, I've always been pretty insecure about anything but slow dancing. I am always looking around at the other guys, making sure I don't look like some idiot (which I usually think I do). However, it was last night when I realized this invaluable lesson. At one point, Lacey turned to me and said "where did you learn to dance so well?". And I had to tell her: "I didn't". What I realized is the fundamental difference between guys and gals on the dance floor. At some point or another, girls learn how to dance well, and practice at it, and get good at it...because they need to. But for the most part (excluding break-dancers, Ed Lang, etc.), guys just get out there, move their feet around, shake their shoulders and hips a bit, and all of a sudden, they are good dancers...because they don't have to be. Most girls are just happy for the effort, and as long as you can move to the beat, you're fine, amongst all the other sweaty guys doing pretty much the exact same thing.

Josh // 6/14/2003 09:47:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Weekend

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

Josh // 6/14/2003 09:39:00 AM
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6/12/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.

Josh // 6/12/2003 11:50:00 AM
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6/11/2003:

Hail To The Thief

Well, I got the new Radiohead album that I've been telling y'all about for weeks now, and I have to say, it lives up to the hype. It is kind of a mixture of Ok Computer and Amnesiac, with a bit of the Bends thrown in for good measure...there are more "normal songs" (electric guitar, bass, and drums) than their more recent stuff, and still the "electronica" moments/droning of Kid A and Amnesiac. But this album has its own distinct sound to it too. There is a genuinely haunting vibe that permeates nearly every song at some point or another. Radiohead has nearly perfected the art of crafting an album. My theory is that they have decided to stop crafting particular songs because it got too easy for them (High and Dry, Just, Karma Police, etc., etc.), and now go overboard to craft the album as a whole. But in my mind, their peak was on OK Computer, when they did both. However, I really like this one and would highly recommend it.

Josh // 6/11/2003 12:28:00 PM
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Deep Thought For The Day

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

Josh // 6/11/2003 11:20:00 AM
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6/10/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh.

Josh // 6/10/2003 12:39:00 PM
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6/09/2003:

Breaking Music News

We are pleased to announce that Dave Matthews will be releasing his debut solo album titled Some Devil this fall. More information and official pre-order details will be coming soon. Oh, and don't forget: new Radiohead tomorrow!!!!

Josh // 6/09/2003 07:43:00 AM
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The Italian Job

I took Lacey to see The Italian Job on Saturday, and I have to say, it was quite good. I didn't expect too much, but it exceeded my expectations. Of course it was pretty predictable, and a bit unrealistic, but what movie isn't these days? The cast was excellent, there was good humor, a good soundtrack, and some fantastic ideas for stealing...it was a lot of fun. Oh, and Bart, go see it for the mini-coopers...those things are mo' cool.

Josh // 6/09/2003 07:41:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

Josh // 6/09/2003 07:37:00 AM
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6/06/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

Josh // 6/06/2003 10:12:00 AM
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6/05/2003:

Back at Work

Well, all my schooling and training has officially paid off. I finally have a real job. I am the new physical science/chemistry teacher at Ouachita Christian School here in Monroe. I will also be assistant coach for junior high football, and track, along with high school soccer and cross country. Needless to say, this is a pretty full load. But I am looking forward to it. I have already been working with kids, and it is so rewarding. I love having an effect on peoples' lives. This is why I got into teaching. The people are great, and I love it so far. Please pray that I fit in well and have a great year...I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.

Josh // 6/05/2003 11:58:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.

Josh // 6/05/2003 11:55:00 AM
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6/04/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

Josh // 6/04/2003 10:52:00 AM
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6/02/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

Josh // 6/02/2003 11:13:00 AM
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5/30/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

Josh // 5/30/2003 09:46:00 AM
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5/29/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Josh // 5/29/2003 03:29:00 PM
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5/28/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

Josh // 5/28/2003 10:30:00 AM
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5/27/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of your nose.

Josh // 5/27/2003 09:11:00 AM
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5/25/2003:

Southern Heritage Ball

Well, I attended my first ball last evening, and I have to say, it went off quite nicely. It was a little strange as a "yankee", seeing all the Confederate dress and hearing about how Abe Lincoln is the devil, but I got over it in good time. I went in only knowing how to Waltz (fairly), but picked up the others quickly. And even though there were too many called, my favorite was probably the Virginia Reel. The last one of the night featured three Wilkins boys (and their partners), myself and Lacey, and three other couples, and it was a riot. All I can say is that if you ever get the chance to Virginia Reel with three Wilkins boys: take it. And I was also glad to see everyone's good friend Christin Booth there...good decision AC:)

Josh // 5/25/2003 01:52:00 PM
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Deep Thought For The Weekend

I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.

Josh // 5/25/2003 01:38:00 PM
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5/22/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!

Josh // 5/22/2003 09:13:00 AM
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5/21/2003:

New Music

Just heard the new Radiohead single "There, There" from their new release "Hail to the Thief", and it is fabulous. It is a lot more raw than their most recent stuff, and sounds like a cross between Ok Computer and The Bends. Can't wait for the album, in stores June 10th. Bought the new Jack Johnson album On and On. It is very good. Not much of a change from the last one, but if you have a great formula, why change it? Third Eye Blind has a new CD out, and I couldn't afford it. Does anyone know if it's any good? I loved their first album, but Blue was a bit of a disappointment.

Josh // 5/21/2003 07:27:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

Josh // 5/21/2003 07:22:00 AM
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5/20/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

Josh // 5/20/2003 08:53:00 AM
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5/19/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Josh // 5/19/2003 07:13:00 AM
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5/17/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

Josh // 5/17/2003 10:08:00 AM
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5/16/2003:

The Matrix Reloaded

Ok, I've been yelled at enough. It's finally time for my review of this movie. First of all, let me say that it broke every record for a one day box office, making 42.5 million dollars yesterday. Wow! Now down to business. I have to say I was a touch disappointed. But that is only because my expectations were so high. There is no doubt about it, this sequel is not as good as the original. But this is common in trilogies. Really, aside from some notable exceptions (Empire, Godfather, T2), it's almost universally true...so it's kind of to be expected. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the film immensely. The special effects are awesome, the action kicks some serious butt, and the characters are well developed. The first half hour could have used some work. There is this ridiculous tribal-dance-orgy intercut with Trinity and Neo, well, y'know, that is totally out of place. But after that, the movie really kicks into gear and packs one heck of a wallop. The ideas are good, and the movie makes you think while still blowing your hair back. I won't give away anything, let's just say that the machines have come up with some great ways to kill us humans. And Neo can still trash most of them. There was probably a bit too much talking, philosophy, and computer mumbo jumbo for younger viewers, but that's ok, since the movie is rated R anyways. And I think they were trying to be "too deep" at times. It just wasn't culture-shaking like the first one. It seemed a bit choppy, and didn't have the same rhythm that the first one had. The soundtrack was definitely not as good. But these are all minor details. On the whole, the movie is extremely entertaining, and leaves you on the edge of your seat. It was well worth the admission price and well worth seeing again...and again if you are me:) Oh, and make sure you stay until after the credits for a look at the Matrix Revolutions...it's gonna be great! I can't wait until November!!!

Josh // 5/16/2003 08:45:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

Josh // 5/16/2003 08:33:00 AM
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5/15/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

Josh // 5/15/2003 08:54:00 AM
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5/14/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Whether they find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

Josh // 5/14/2003 09:33:00 AM
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5/13/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

Josh // 5/13/2003 08:04:00 AM
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5/12/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

Josh // 5/12/2003 07:40:00 AM
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Weekend Smattering

Whew! I made it to Monroe safely, and thanks to all of you out there praying for my safe arrival here. I am very happy to finally be down here after all the anticipation. Had a busy weekend. Moved my stuff in...overfilled my waterbed...If you haven't seen X-Men 2, you really should, it's very fun and very cool....I can't recommend Outback Steakhouse highly enough...YUMMY! That about sums it up. I'm looking for a job this week, so please pray that goes well. But nothing can quell my anticipation for the Matrix Reloaded. Lacey and I already got our tickets and I've been trying to concentrate on them and hope that Wednesday comes soon:) Oh, and if I don't blog too much in the next few weeks, you'll have to understand and forgive me.

Josh // 5/12/2003 07:39:00 AM
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5/07/2003:

Breaking Movie News

The release dates for The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers movie version and extended version on DVD have been released. The theater version, with an extra disc of special features, comes out on August 26th, and the extended version with four discs, including 35 minutes of new and extended scenes and two more discs of special features comes out on November 18th!!! For more information, visit lordoftherings.net Also, the Indiana Jones trilogy is finally going to be released on DVD!!! The four disc collector's edition comes out on November 4th, which includes the movies with totally remastered picture and sound, and a bonus disc packed with special features!

Josh // 5/07/2003 10:58:00 AM
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Busy Week

Well folks, the verdict is in, and my blog is officially boring. I, like Deacon, am finishing up the last bit of my college career. I had two projects to do on Monday that took me 14 hours straight to finish, a presentation yesterday, and a portfolio due today. But now I am done. I *only* have to run about 10 errands, wash windows, and pack up my entire life into a Ford Explorer before moving to Monroe on Saturday. I am very much looking forward to it, but please pray that I am able to have safe travel, and accomplish everything and not flip out and burn down the house.

Josh // 5/07/2003 10:31:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

Josh // 5/07/2003 10:27:00 AM
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5/05/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Josh // 5/05/2003 07:33:00 AM
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5/01/2003:

Top Ten Pearl Jam Songs You've (probably) Never Heard

Ok Booth and Deacon, I know you have heard them. But if you only really listen to the radio, you probably haven't, so here's a list of PJ essentials you need to get your hands on. 10.Release --- Ten 9.Love Boat Captain --- Riot Act 8.Of The Girl --- Binaural 7.No Way --- Yield 6.Whipping --- Vitalogy 5.Porch --- Ten 4.Rear-view Mirror --- Vs. 3.Off He Goes --- No Code 2.Hard To Imagine --- Chicago Cab Soundtrack 1.Long Road --- Merkinball single, Dead Man Walking Soundtrack

Josh // 5/01/2003 03:46:00 PM
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4/30/2003:

Late Arrival

Well, the release date for Punch-drunk Love on DVD has finally been set...June 24th! And the movie came out last October! What are these people thinking? I was incredibly disappointed in how poorly the movie did at the box office. It is Adam Sandler's best film (now, that's not saying a lot, but it is superb) and no one goes to see it! I even heard stories of people walking out. This is just one more sign that the American public in general wouldn't know a good movie if it came up and bit their ear off. And it had prompted me to start with some top ten lists. Stay tuned...

Josh // 4/30/2003 11:49:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Josh // 4/30/2003 11:46:00 AM
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4/29/2003:

Return Of The Deep Thought For The Day

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

Josh // 4/29/2003 10:22:00 AM
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4/25/2003:

Summer Movies

The summer movie season is almost upon us. Already, big studios are starting to throw advertising weight behind their big-budget flicks. It will "officially" start with the release of X-Men 2 on May 2nd. Now, I used to get really psyched for the summer movies. So many great action flicks, so much fun stuff...it was heaven for a burgeoning movie buff. But now I've found that I don't really get very excited any more. Sure, last summer there was Episode 2, for which I waited in line, got tickets early, snuck into a preview for it with Bray, things like that. And I am pumped like crazy this year for the Matrix Reloaded (see Duane's blog). But it's not the same. Is it me, or has the summer movie season gotten derivative? I don't see as much coming out that looks like it'll reach out, grab me, spin me around, and knock my socks off. Are movies getting worse? Less entertaining? Less exciting? Or am I just growing up? Who has a thought?

Josh // 4/25/2003 08:46:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

Josh // 4/25/2003 08:40:00 AM
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4/24/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.

Josh // 4/24/2003 08:40:00 AM
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4/23/2003:

Listening Post

Since I can't figure out how to do a list on the side of my blog of what I've been listening to (I'm html illiterate I guess) I have decided to post it here. Evanescence --- Fallen Pearl Jam --- Yield Dave Matthews Band --- Live at Red Rocks Norah Jones --- Come Away With Me The Smashing Pumpkins --- Rotten Apples (greatest hits)

Josh // 4/23/2003 08:37:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Josh // 4/23/2003 06:25:00 AM
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4/21/2003:

My Fighting Irish

Well, spring practices have begun for the greatest sport left in the world today...college football. The competition level in college football is continually high, and those boys give it their all. It's not about the money, the fame, the popularity...it's about good, old-fashioned football. Yeah, there are some bad apples who do it for the NFL, the future money, the glitz, etc...but they're mostly just teams from Florida and are gangsters and thugs anyway. Not true with the greatest bastion of sports on the planet, the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. I have been a Notre Dame fan as long as I can remember. My best friend and I still reminisce about things like Tim Brown winning the Heisman, the 1992 drubbing of Florida State, the knocked down Steve Walsh pass, I could bore you forever. The bottom line is, you can't find a more storied past, or a more classy present and future. Sure, ND has its problems...they all do. But with the hiring of Tyrone Willingham, things are back on the right track. Nowhere else will my heart skip a beat, my hands shake with anticipation, and tears form in my eyes than a Notre Dame football game. Touchdown Jesus, the Golden Dome, the Four Horsemen, the Gipper, First-down Moses...the list goes on and on. It has been a lifelong dream to make the trip to South Bend for a Notre Dame game, and one day I'll do it. For now, I'll be content to watch in my living room, yelling and screaming with the best of them:) So if you have the TV tuned to NBC one fall Saturday, and you see those golden helmets shining, say a quick prayer for the Irish...I know I will be.

Josh // 4/21/2003 10:22:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

Josh // 4/21/2003 06:46:00 AM
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4/19/2003:

Dallas

I realize that some of us will be in Dallas about a week before this, but there is another concert there in July, that is DEFINITELY worth going to. Counting Crows and John Mayer are performing in Dallas on July 26th (a Saturday!). Tickets (after Ticket-monopoly-master gets a hold of us) will be around 40 dollars. If you are interested in going, either respond to this blog or email me. There is not really a time crunch for this concert, but I would advise getting them in the next month or so, if anyone else wants to go. And if you don't, then get some good taste in music for crying out loud!

Josh // 4/19/2003 04:04:00 PM
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4/18/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

Josh // 4/18/2003 09:37:00 AM
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4/17/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

Josh // 4/17/2003 10:10:00 AM
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4/16/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

Josh // 4/16/2003 11:48:00 AM
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4/15/2003:

Teaching Style

So I had to take a class of seniors to a convocation last week. It was a convo about rape, designed to get to them before they go off on spring break. There were 800 loud high school seniors in one room, rowdy and ready for their trips to Cancun. The first thing they did was get a "theater troupe" to enact a "situation" where a group of friends are drinking way too much, a guy gets too "friendly" with a girl who doesn't feel like that about him, and they freeze the situation. They ask the crowd if there is any danger in the room? What do you think the crowd is going to say? Of course they will not admit that date rape could occur! The whole convocation was done poorly and it made me realize, yet again, why I don't want to teach in the public schools. The message was that the kids were going to drink and have sex, but "no means no" and don't take advantage...but where do you draw the line, as pagans, if the girl does not say no, but doesn't want to sleep with the guy? As Christians, the answer is easy...no drunkenness and no premarital sex. And I wanted to scream that at them! But I couldn't. They just weren't able to get through to the kids, and they really couldn't...their hands were tied. I want to be a mentor for my students, to be able to help them with their problems, and guide them. Not to substitute for their parents, but to act as a support. And that is just not possible in the public school system. My ultimate authority is the Bible...theirs is relativity. And I think they are being hypocrites when they try and impose what they feel is right, on people who should not "have" to listen. Anyway, I knew I would teach in a Christian school, this is just one more thing that has shown me that I made the right decision. That way I can teach with a Christian mindset, with God as the author of all creation, the author of everything. Educating a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord is the only way to go.

Josh // 4/15/2003 11:07:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

This one's a classic: If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Josh // 4/15/2003 09:37:00 AM
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4/14/2003:

Anger Management

I had the pleasure of escorting two VERY lovely ladies to the movies on Friday night, and we saw Anger Management. Like most Adam Sandler movies, it was not a great film. However, I think I laughed more in two hours than I have laughed in an extremely long time. All I can say is that if you see it, I dare you to NOT walk out of the movie theater singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty and gay!" and thinking of Jack Nicholson's crazy eyebrows. Funny stuff. Plus we got to see the extended preview of the Matrix Reloaded...DAMN...it looks fantastic.

Josh // 4/14/2003 11:02:00 AM
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Deep Thought For The Day

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

Josh // 4/14/2003 10:56:00 AM
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4/11/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

Josh // 4/11/2003 07:58:00 AM
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4/10/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Josh // 4/10/2003 09:32:00 AM
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4/09/2003:

Deep Thought For The Day

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.

Josh // 4/09/2003 04:17:00 PM
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That's Chicago

Once again, a very mediocre movie has won the Academy Award for Best Picture. I went and saw Chicago last night, and I have to say, I enjoyed it. There was a lot of fun stuff in it...the music and dancing were great. But does this make a great movie? Absolutely not. There was no message to the film. The acting was ok (I still hate Richard Gere). The cinematography was passable. The script was a joke. For there to be fabulous films out there like Lord of the Rings and Gangs of New York and this movie to beat them out is pathetic. That's what makes me mad. If Chicago had not won Best Picture, I would have liked it much, much more. But to be perfectly blunt, I'll take Moulin Rouge every day of the week and eleventy billion times on Sundays.

Josh // 4/09/2003 02:41:00 PM
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4/08/2003:

Driving

So I made the 12 hour trip from Indiana to Monroe. And I have decided that the best CD to drive to of all time is Vs. By Pearl Jam.

Josh // 4/08/2003 02:56:00 PM
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Deep Thought For The Day

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Josh // 4/08/2003 02:55:00 PM
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Blogger Made Me Do It

Well folks, I've moved. I couldn't get Crash Into Me to work any longer. Here is my new blogspot. Hope you enjoy it.

Josh // 4/08/2003 07:37:00 AM
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